Hi and Thank you for your honest and sincere confession.

I too struggled with shame, trauma and self confidence. I want to share with you my view.

What I found out in my research for mental peace was in regards with the words that were said to me when a child, the caregivers that said them and their inner critic which I associated to a God like and adopted it as mine.

What helped me was to work on the way I talk to myself when things go wrong.

I adopted a more feminine and warm attitude towards my faults.

I understand now that for the past mistakes I didn't know better and also others didn't know better at that time. For the present mistakes there is always something to learn from every "mistake". I am not perfect and nobody else is either.

The shame is part of the inner critic. The inner critic is part of the caregiver. The caregiver wasn't loved by his caregiver. So with love and understanding you can face in a healthy way the failures in life. Reprograming your brain and attitude will not make disappear the voice but will transform it in something you are happy to hear.

I wish there is something here you can take away and help you. Sorry if the reply turned so long as well!

Best of luck!